We have all heard it said many times that children are like sponges, they soak up everything around them. Most everyone will agree to this but how many have actually stopped to really think about it? I try as much as I can to watch my children and learn as much as I can from them as they are learning from me. One thing that becomes quickly apparent is that they mimic everything I do as their dad. From the 4 year old to the 13 year old they, in many ways, do what dad is doing. They are everyday learning and developing who they are by watching their mother and I. Then all of a sudden I really think about that and I become worried. I mean how often do we as parents really think about this? Do we realize that a child is born pure and without influence. They have no agenda or belief system. They are free from prejudices, bigotry and hatred. They only see the world as it simply is, pure and untouched. They are curious, learning everything they can. They know no boundaries and the only right and wrong they know is a natural set or rules or a natural morality, if it hurts me then it must be bad and if it hurts me then it could hurt someone else so hurting someone is wrong. I mean think about it for a moment. Every child is born naturally an explorer, scientist, artist, thinker, atheist and anarchist. Then we influence them, whether negatively or positively, with our parenting, sending them to school and to maybe to churches. So much of a child's world view and how they treat and think about others is built upon how we raise them. When you think about it like that it kind of makes parenting a little more scary than it is. There is no doubt that with parenting comes great responsibility but raising a child can and will be your greatest accomplishment in life.
Once a parent realizes how important it really is that we positively influence a child as much as possible then we can begin to rethink how we guide a child as a parent versus how we were raised or others around us were raised. It's been said that the best way to change our world is to change the way we raise our children. Remember that children are our future and how we influence them today will greatly influence them as adults. It must be completely logical to realize that a child raised in a peaceful, nurturing and loving home and shown not to accept violence in their life or toward others and one that is encouraged to find their own identity and to never give up your personal freedom to anyone would grow to be a person that wouldn't accept violence and only freedom in their life.
Unless you raise a child in isolation though there isn't a way to raise a child with the total absence of violence in their life. Even if you try they will see it in other places eventually. What we must do though is raise them to not to tolerate it in their lives. Teaching them to never accept violence as a solution to any problem in their life is something we can do and not only do it through words but in our actions, reactions and interactions with them. By taking a stand that you as their parent will not accept violence in your life or the home your family shares will do more than words ever will. Remember a child will learn more from how they see you live than how you tell them they should live.
Think for a moment of how we could make such a major impact to our future and more importantly our children's future if we could raise an entire generation of people that no longer accepts violence as a legitimate solution to any problem, a generation that looks to peaceful interaction with each other to find true solutions. This is a major point to peaceful parenting. The first is the obvious and that is having a closer relationship with your children but the possibility that raising a child peacefully could change the world they will live in is definitely something worth sitting back and taking in for a moment.
In the end doesn't this all just make sense? If we raise a child in an environment that they are taught that violence can solve problems and it is used against them to correct them and make them comply wouldn't it just make sense that they will grow up thinking violence is ok to use and be used against them to get them to comply to rules? Can there really be any negative side effects to raising a child peacefully, tolerant and non-violent? For thousands of years people have raised children much the same and for thousands of years we continue to use force and violence against each other and allow ourselves to be ruled and controlled by institutions that use force, violence and threats of violence against us to gain our compliance. Is there a connection? Doesn't it make sense to stop using violence and force against our children and teaching them to accept violence has any legitimacy? I dream of a world where the only time my children may ever see or use violence is the rare occurrence that they may need to defend themselves. Lets work together to make that dream a reality for all of our children.
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